Cynthia - Newburyport, MA | Read Cynthia's Second Entry
If I were appointed "Commissioner of Tennis d' Jour" I would definitely make one change to improve the sport, and while I scramble to identify that change, I would need to first complete the following tasks:
1. Prepare my acceptance speech entitled "THANK YOU TENNIS CHANNEL".
2. At the press conference, deftly deflect questions about my Vision for Tennis "there will be plenty of time for that later" while I surreptitiously attempt to plagiarize the one change I'd make to improve the sport.
3. Keep composure whilst I deny that I submitted to Wertheim's mailbag a fluff question about the handsome US Davis Cup Team.
4. OK, maybe I did but I've matured a lot since then.
5. Appoint an Assistant to the Commissioner to manage my schedule, transportation, wardrobe (Beret! Armani jacket! NOW), etc.
6. Fire Assistant.
7. Begin tennis immersion by watching our sport 24/7 for research purposes in new tax-deductible home theater, leaving only to play tennis and go to sleep which would be induced by reading books about tennis.
8. Wake up suddenly realizing that I have made zero progress in deciding on the one change I'd make to improve the....zzzzzzzz.
9. Arrange tax-deductible travel for attending tournaments between now and Roland Garros including FINDING A HIP HOTEL NEAR THE DAVIS CUP venue in April-what, was Mohegan Sun not available?
10. Learn French in order to present a cultured, PC, refreshingly deferential American in Paris.
11. Bon jour, ou est le Metro? ... MEH tro. Pardon moi, Le Me trrrro. I said meh TROH you, you #!@*!%#.
12. Dump learning French and that lame beret and apply all intellectual [sic] energies conjuring up that one change I'd make.
13. Plan a unique angle for interviewing players, which could include members of a certain Davis Cup team. To think: I wouldn't have to send a note to them via the waiter like I did at Michael Jordan's restaurant in Mohegan Sun.
14. But at least I didn't stare at them like my friend Sonia.
15. Who is usually WAY more dignified than that.
16. Get serious and do research on the Roland Garros dirt by driving to a similar court surface in my area.
17. By FLYING to a similar court surface.
18. On the continent. Hemisphere?
19. Re-think learning French.
20. Note that time is running out on making up that one thingy. Focus... Hmmm, can't decide... would I interview the Bryan Brothers together or separately...
[knock at door] Excuse me? It's time for my One Change speech? [gulp]
"Good Morning. The one change I would make to improve the sport, in addition to more close-ups of the guys' muscles, is:
Permit music, crowd noise and movement during play. There could be no service lets of course, and the smallest motions and sounds would seem like utter mayhem. It would be madness, I tell you..."
[tap on shoulder] Excuse me? I've run out of words in my contest entry? My bad.